Beryl's Special Dressing for Doritos Salad

There are two stars of this post.

The first star is a creamy dressing which goes so well with nacho cheese Doritos.

I began making this dressing back in 2002.  I was prego and jonesing for something cool and crunchy.  My coworker at the time gave me this recipe and told me to eat this with lettuce and crushed nacho cheese Doritos.  Since I was on bedrest at the time, I had my mom prepare this for me.  I couldn't believe how good it was.  Since then, I've made this numerous times for lunch.  It's fast to pack and very simple to throw together.  And for whatever reason, I never thought to post it here.

A few months ago, while working at a volleyball game, I noticed that the concession was selling something called "Doritos salad".  Turns out, they were selling shredded lettuce, chopped tomato, and crushed nacho cheese Doritos with Beryl's Special Dressing!  The addition of tomatoes, I must admit, was really nice.  Of course, I wish they would've taken the time to remove all the tomato seeds and slime, but this is MY hang-up, not theirs.

Then at the last faculty meeting of the year, one of my current coworkers brought a taco salad.  It was served in a pan and consisted of the typical taco salad ingredients:  lettuce, tomato (with seeds!), taco meat, and cheese.  But topping the salad was a layer of crushed nacho cheese Doritos and a generous all-over drizzle of a dressing which tasted exactly like, you guessed it, Beryl's Special Dressing!  While the tomato addition at the concession was nice, the taco meat and cheese took it over the top.

click on recipe title for printable recipe

Beryl's Special Dressing

     1/3 c mayonnaise

     1 tbsp sugar

     1 tbsp apple cider vinegar

Combine all ingredients with a whisk.  Chill until ready to serve.

If you don't have the time to prepare the taco meat and fixins, don't despair.  A simple salad made with just shredded lettuce, crushed chips and this dressing is awesome in it's own right.  It is good enough reason to always buy a gigantic bag of nacho cheese Doritos from Costco.

The second (but not lesser) star of this post is The Keeper.

I had the good fortune of befriending The Keeper many moons ago.  I'm not sure how we met, but we hit it off immediately and have been close ever since.  Over the years, he has listened to my bitching, shared some of his own, and provided me hours of entertainment and education with tales of his travels in the land of the rising sun.

This past week, The Keeper's arm of friendship and kindness, extended far beyond any expectation when he took me (and a few others) to Hokkaido for the trip of a lifetime.

We spent four-ish glorious days together, stuffing our faces with local seafood (mostly raw), savory ramen, decadent sweets, and, surprisingly, very little alcohol (for me, at least; my alcohol consumption was limited to a sip of something which tasted like grape juice in a can purchased by The Keeper from a vending machine at a train station).  Most of us bought amulets at a shrine, possibly to protect us from blowing our fortune$ at the shopping venues.

I learned so much about Hokkaido and Japan, as a whole.  Japan is such a beautiful country, and Hokkaido has it all. . .an upscale city (Sapporo) with a vibrant night life district (Susukino), as well as quaint towns (Otaru and Hakodate), not unlike Hilo.  At times, I felt like I was traveling with the Old Lord of Mito (Mito Komon) on his journey and wondering which character I was...Kaku-san (a retainer), Ogin (a ninja), or Hachibei (the jester). 

According to my fitbit, I walked over 100k steps in those four-ish days, which equals somewhere over 40 miles.  In spite of having to haul my ass around Hokkaido and worrying about chafing in the nether-regions, I could not possibly thank The Keeper enough for allowing me to interlope on his vacation.  An entire lifetime would not be enough time.  

To The Keeper:  私の心の底からとてもありがとう。 あなたの友情は常に大事にされます。

And my trip would not have been possible without The Help.  My air ticket was my birthday present, and he took care of my home and family (four-legged, finned, and feathered members) while I was away.  Much thanks. . .you are my rock, even if not everyone knows your name.

Look out, Spud! Homemade Fish & Chips

Aaaahhhhh...my first official post of summer!  Yeah!  On paper, I have 2 whole months of vacation (we report on either July 30 or 31).  I am totally exhausted and drained from work, and I will definitely need every minute of those 2 months to recover.

Last week was probably one of the most intense weeks of work this year, and it was only 3 days long.  For the first 2 days, teachers from schools in the complex area got together and worked on content-specific common core pacing guides.  At least that was the way it was supposed to work.  Immediately after we got into our groups, one of the teachers made a formal request that she be permitted to work ONLY with teachers at her school.  What a joke because the other school actually had their shit together!

The Edison consultants, who were likely paid a ton of money to assist in the process, were likely paid a ton of money to sit on their asses in a corner of the classroom while everyone else (yes, even the grumblers) worked their tails off.  I know this was the case in at least 3 classes I peeked in on.  I must say that in the end, the teachers came through and produced what was expected of them.  One of my coworkers said his session refused to put anything on the flash drive to give to the High Commander.

The common core draining went on for 2 days, and it was followed by a day of culture-based education, lunch, and a grueling reflection session with the High Commander.  The culture portion of the day was held at the school of the "haves" (versus the "have-nots", a.k.a. the DOE), Kamehameha Schools Keaau Campus.  Teachers were warned repeatedly about our status as invited guests and we were not to take any food or drink into Lunalilo Hale.  Teachers are dang good at following directions.  Unfortunately, two administrator-level people (one school and one district), were seen eating and drinking within Lunalilo Hale.  Both were spoken to by teachers, and both shook off the admonitions.  The High Commander's deputy saw at least one of them violating the rules and did nothing.   

Well right now, all that is behind me.  At 3:00 pm on Thursday, I walked out of the office.  Of course, some people were blocking the exit, but I just pushed past them and didn't look back.  I am gone. . .not just for the summer. . .I am gone.  I managed to secure a transfer during the Teacher Assignment and Transfer Period (TATP) 2.  I'm looking forward to the new adventure.

And speaking of adventure. . .my cousin Kent and his awesome wife Julie go fishing in Alaska every year.  Usually, they give me salmon (remember the gorgeous salmon in the batayaki post), but this time, there was a package of rock cod in the mix. I knew immediately what I would be making with cod. . .fish and chips.

Before I get into the recipe, I need to share how I became a fish and chips aficionado.  Sometime in the 80s, I went to Seattle to attend orientation at U-Dub.  One of the places Uncle George took me to was Spud Fish & Chips on Alki Beach (West Seattle).  This was the first time I had eaten fish & chips which weren't on a school lunch tray and the fish wasn't in "stick" form.  I watched with fascination as Aunty Char squirted malt vinegar all over her fish.  From that moment on, all fish & chips I consume are judged against Spud.  While Island Fish & Chips (Waikoloa Kings Shops) does a good job, the fish is not the same as Spud.  I do love the cole slaw from Island Fish & Chips.  Ivar's and Long John Silver don't even come close to Spud.

Without even leaving my home (Kent and Julie can do that for me), I can make superb fish & chips.  The key, in addition to the best cod you can find, is the batter.  The batter needs to be crisp and remain crisp as the fish and fries are cooked.  I hate soggy, oil-laden batter!  The batter recipe was given to me by Kikukat Mom.  I believe she got it from the wife of one of Kikukat Dad's golf buddies.  I have used the batter to coat all sorts of things:  shrimp, soft shell crab, broccoli, mushrooms, sweet potato, pickles. 

Fish is only part of the story, so for the best fries, use Anthony Bourdain's method.  The fries were made according to his New York Restaurant, Les Halles.  The fries/frites recipe can be found in multiple places on the internet.  I cannot stress enough that you MUST do the 2-step frying process.

For most of my life, tartar sauce was right there next to the vile condiment on my list of detested foods.  I think its because many permutations of tartar sauce contain the Devil's sauce.  Blecchhhh.  The tartar sauce in the pic, and one of the two versions I eat, is made by The Help.  He uses mayo (Best Foods, of course), sweet relish (the kind with pickles only), Worcestershire sauce, and a touch of lemon juice.  I am certain he would not dare slip in Grey Poupon or French's!

click on recipe title for printable recipe

Lea's Tempura Batter Mix

     1 box (40 oz) Bisquick

     1 pkg (10 oz) potato starch (might be labeled "katakuriko")

     1 box (1 lb) cornstarch

Combine all ingredients in a large bowl.  Store in refrigerator.  When ready to use, combine (only the amount needed) with cold water until desired consistency is reached.  Fry between 350-375 degrees until golden brown.

The only other tartar sauce I will eat is served at Hilo Bay Cafe with their Fish & Chips.  Like The Help's tartar sauce, it is also very "white".

Restaurant Chatter: Hilo Bay Cafe

Mom treated me to lunch on Friday, and I chose Hilo Bay Cafe.  I thought it was funny that we both ordered the same thing:   fish & chips!  Hilo Bay Cafe makes the best fish & chips in Hilo.  I was going to say "in the world", but having gone to school in Seattle, nobody makes fish & chips as good as Salty's on Alki.

I'm practicing again from my phone.