Beryl's Special Dressing for Doritos Salad

There are two stars of this post.

The first star is a creamy dressing which goes so well with nacho cheese Doritos.

I began making this dressing back in 2002.  I was prego and jonesing for something cool and crunchy.  My coworker at the time gave me this recipe and told me to eat this with lettuce and crushed nacho cheese Doritos.  Since I was on bedrest at the time, I had my mom prepare this for me.  I couldn't believe how good it was.  Since then, I've made this numerous times for lunch.  It's fast to pack and very simple to throw together.  And for whatever reason, I never thought to post it here.

A few months ago, while working at a volleyball game, I noticed that the concession was selling something called "Doritos salad".  Turns out, they were selling shredded lettuce, chopped tomato, and crushed nacho cheese Doritos with Beryl's Special Dressing!  The addition of tomatoes, I must admit, was really nice.  Of course, I wish they would've taken the time to remove all the tomato seeds and slime, but this is MY hang-up, not theirs.

Then at the last faculty meeting of the year, one of my current coworkers brought a taco salad.  It was served in a pan and consisted of the typical taco salad ingredients:  lettuce, tomato (with seeds!), taco meat, and cheese.  But topping the salad was a layer of crushed nacho cheese Doritos and a generous all-over drizzle of a dressing which tasted exactly like, you guessed it, Beryl's Special Dressing!  While the tomato addition at the concession was nice, the taco meat and cheese took it over the top.

click on recipe title for printable recipe

Beryl's Special Dressing

     1/3 c mayonnaise

     1 tbsp sugar

     1 tbsp apple cider vinegar

Combine all ingredients with a whisk.  Chill until ready to serve.

If you don't have the time to prepare the taco meat and fixins, don't despair.  A simple salad made with just shredded lettuce, crushed chips and this dressing is awesome in it's own right.  It is good enough reason to always buy a gigantic bag of nacho cheese Doritos from Costco.

The second (but not lesser) star of this post is The Keeper.

I had the good fortune of befriending The Keeper many moons ago.  I'm not sure how we met, but we hit it off immediately and have been close ever since.  Over the years, he has listened to my bitching, shared some of his own, and provided me hours of entertainment and education with tales of his travels in the land of the rising sun.

This past week, The Keeper's arm of friendship and kindness, extended far beyond any expectation when he took me (and a few others) to Hokkaido for the trip of a lifetime.

We spent four-ish glorious days together, stuffing our faces with local seafood (mostly raw), savory ramen, decadent sweets, and, surprisingly, very little alcohol (for me, at least; my alcohol consumption was limited to a sip of something which tasted like grape juice in a can purchased by The Keeper from a vending machine at a train station).  Most of us bought amulets at a shrine, possibly to protect us from blowing our fortune$ at the shopping venues.

I learned so much about Hokkaido and Japan, as a whole.  Japan is such a beautiful country, and Hokkaido has it all. . .an upscale city (Sapporo) with a vibrant night life district (Susukino), as well as quaint towns (Otaru and Hakodate), not unlike Hilo.  At times, I felt like I was traveling with the Old Lord of Mito (Mito Komon) on his journey and wondering which character I was...Kaku-san (a retainer), Ogin (a ninja), or Hachibei (the jester). 

According to my fitbit, I walked over 100k steps in those four-ish days, which equals somewhere over 40 miles.  In spite of having to haul my ass around Hokkaido and worrying about chafing in the nether-regions, I could not possibly thank The Keeper enough for allowing me to interlope on his vacation.  An entire lifetime would not be enough time.  

To The Keeper:  私の心の底からとてもありがとう。 あなたの友情は常に大事にされます。

And my trip would not have been possible without The Help.  My air ticket was my birthday present, and he took care of my home and family (four-legged, finned, and feathered members) while I was away.  Much thanks. . .you are my rock, even if not everyone knows your name.

Almost Pike Place Chowder: New England Clam Chowder

This past weekend, the weather was miserable.  After weeks of hot, sticky humidity, we got bombarded by rain.  A new weather system formed just southeast of us, bringing a ton of rain to Hilo.

The Help and I survived a wet football game at Wong Stadium (affectionately called "Lake Wong").  The Help learned that Columbia rain products are not on equal footing with NorthFace; he was soaked, while my layers remained dry.   Maybe Santa will bring him a NorthFace jacket this year.

On Saturday, as the downpour continued, The Help made a strange comment, something to the effect of "so this is what it's like to live in Seattle."  Ummmmm NO.

Seattle rain is nothing like Hilo rain.  In Hilo, the rain comes down in buckets.  Walking ten feet in the rain is capable of soaking through layers of clothes (including a Columbia supposed-rain jacket).  Seattle rain is different.  It doesn't come down in buckets, but it's always present.  I had a hard time explaining the difference to The Help.  I did, however, make a big deal about the temperature of the rain.  Seattle rain is cold.

Anyway, The Help's comment about Seattle brought back memories of a recent trip to the Emerald City.  I had the opportunity to stop at Pike Place Chowder for a steaming bowl of their award-winning chowder.  It was every bit as good as the hype made it out to be.  No disappointment at all, although I was somewhat surprised at how small the place was.  There were hardly any tables/chairs, yet that didn't see to stop people from lining up.  I tried both the seafood bisque and the New England style clam chowder.  Both were awesome, and they are high up on my to-eat list for my next trip to Seattle.

So as a reward for opening his mouth, The Help found himself heading out in the rain on Saturday to pick up the ingredients for my copycat version of Pike Place Chowder's New England Clam Chowder.  Although my next trip to Seattle will need to wait for a while (I need to go to AZ first), I found myself sitting down to a nice, hot bowl of soup while lamenting those darn Dawgs!  WTF?!?

click on recipe title for printable recipe

Almost Pike Place Chowder:  New England Clam Chowder

     2 tbsp butter

     1/2 onion, diced

     2 stalks celery, diced

     1/3 c flour

     1 can chicken broth (add water to make 2 cups)

     2 cans (10 oz each) clams (minced, chopped or combination)

     1 c heavy cream

     2 bay leaves

     1 lb russet potatoes, cubed 1/2"

     1/2 tsp salt

     1/8 tsp pepper

Melt butter in a medium saucepan.  Add onion and celery and saute until soft.  Stir in flour.  Add chicken broth, clam juice (reserve clams for later), cream, bay leaves, and potatoes.  Simmer for 20 minutes, stirring often.  Add clams, salt, and pepper.  Serve.

I had quite a scare on Saturday night.  Sometime during the slaughter at Sun Devil Stadium, I decided to check my fb page.  My heart sank when I saw a post about a stampede at the Summer Ends Music Festival at Tempe Beach Park.  Prior to leaving for Tempe, D1 purchased her ticket online, so I knew she was there (rather than at the stadium).  The fb news clip said two juvenile females, who were close to the stage, were taken to a local trauma center with life-threatening injuries.  I immediately texted and called D1, but there was no response.  As a parent 3,000 miles away, all sorts of things went through my mind.  I breathe a deep sigh of relief when the phone rang as I was talking to Mr. Dependable about the events.  Darn kid said she had left her phone at home for safe-keeping and was unaware (until later) as to why she had been ordered by concert officials to evacuate Tempe Beach Park.

Later, as I was praying and hoping for the best for all those injured, The Help said he knew all along D1 was fine...said she would never have dished out the extra $$$ to be close to the stage.  Being pake probably saved her ass.

Zoku Fun: Frozen Cantaloupe Pops

Last week was so darn hot and humid.  I had no choice but to go swimming to cool off.  Then at the end of the week, The Help told me he had to treat the water for excessive phosphates.  This can only mean one this. . .pee in the pool  Euwwwww.

There were a few guests over in the past week so I'd hate to think any of them were responsible, but I who else could it be?  The Ds themselves have never caused a phosphate explosion, probably because they don't wanna swim in piss water, and they are well aware that pee doesn't magically disappear.

I came to the realization that summer vacation (what vacation?) is coming to an end soon.  In 10 days, I will need to report to my regular work site.  Cripes!

D2's summer program ends this week, and D1 will be writing the next chapter of her life in less than a month.  It feels surreal.

Meanwhile, I've been feeling like I'm about to melt.  The weather here has been terribly muggy.  On Saturday, the temperature was in the high 80s, but with the high dewpoint, it felt like it was close to 100 degrees.  Everything felt like it was sticking to my body.  I took to the water to try and cool down a little, but the water was over 90 degrees.  I always said I liked the water warm, but 94 degree water at night pushes even my level of tolerance.

In order to cool off, I've been trying to eat a bunch of cold things.  We had cool somen one night, and I must've gone through a dozen of those sparkling ice tea drinks from Costco.  The heat also prompted me to get off my butt and try out my Zoku pop maker.

A few Christmases ago, I bought a whole bunch of Zoku pop makers to give my nieces and nephews.  I had purchased one for the Ds a few months before, but I only got so far as to stick it in my freezer.  I finally got to use it.

When I was eleven, I took a trip to California with my grandparents.  We stayed at a hotel in San Francisco which was across the street from a Baskin-Robbins.  It was the first time I had ever had been to Baskin-Robbins, even thought I had seen the commercials on TV.  The first ice cream I had there was cantaloupe, and I never forgot how refreshing and tasty the cantaloupe ice cream had been (this was in the days when I wasn't allergic).

Since I had a cantaloupe, I figured I'd make my own cantaloupe ice pop.  The Help said it was good.  The Ds tasted it and said they'd prefer chocolate.  Well. . .I'm not taking it personally because that's something they'd say no matter what it was (other than chocolate).  And in spite of my allergy, I decided to indulge.  I had the benadryl right on the counter, just in case, but I guess I didn't have enough of it to react.  Whew.

click on recipe title for printable recipe

Frozen Cantaloupe Pops

     2 c diced cantaloupe, no larger than 1/2" pieces

     1/2 c milk

     1/4 c sugar

Heat milk for 45 seconds in the microwave.  Add sugar and stir to dissolve.  Cover and chill.  When milk mixture is cold, puree fruit using an immersion blender, conventional blender or food processor.  Add cold milk mixture to fruit and puree a few seconds longer.  Pour into Zoku maker, following instructions.  The first batch of pops will take 11 minutes to freeze.

Please do not eat this if you have a melon allergy.

Creamy Italian Dressing

I spent most of last week licking my wounds.  I guess I'm more of a Seahawks fan than I care to admit.  After all, Max Unger is from the Big Island, and Jermaine Kearse and I are both Huskies.  Maybe it's also because I do NOT like the Patriots.

In my book, the Patriots are the NFL equivalent of the Oregon Ducks.  I'd like to draw in a Joker smile on Bill Belichick's face and give Gronk a good spanking.  Don't even get me started on Tom Brady.  He is from a school in the Big 10, the sworn enemy of the Pac 12 conference.  But I have one question about Tom Brady.  Why are his teeth so nice?

I can't believe the NFL swept Deflategate under the rug.  WTF.  The NFL spends all that money on domestic violence "no more" commercials, yet they condone cheating.  Talk about messed up priorities.  Moving on. . .

I guess the next big thing for me (in terms of entertainment) is the start of the 2015 Formula One season.  I hope Lewis Hamilton can repeat as world champion.  That would be awesome.  The F1 season runs March thru November, so that should take me well into football season.  Good.  I'm so not into basketball and baseball. 

Mr. Dependable crapped out again this weekend.  Well he told me that he was going to the other side of the island for this and that and if I wanted him to take the kids (HIS kids), then he had to change his hotel reservation.  Blah, blah, blah.  Out of fairness, I asked the Ds if they wanted to go with him or stay home.  Both said they'd stay home.  I like it when they're home anyway.  I don't need to wonder what time they'll roll in on Sunday evening.

D2 invited a friend to spend the night.  That was nice. I was going to order pizza for dinner, now that D2 eats pizza (D2 used to hate pizza, but now she will eat cheese pizza, as long as it's from Domino's.  Sorry, Pizza Hut.).  But on Thursday, after eating some kind of Doritos casserole for lunch, I decided maybe I wasn't ready for pizza just yet.  So I sent The Help to the market to buy some thin sliced beef for teriyaki.  The weather had been fairly nice last week, so having hibachi food wasn't too much of a stretch.  I even managed to make some Spam musubi for the girls.

There was a cute conversation at dinner.  D2's status as picky eater extraordinaire is well known.  One of her friend's mother has a list of the foods D2 will eat...it is not a long list.  D2's friend was shocked to see D2 eating beef teriyaki.  She said, "I never saw you eat this kind of food before."  I told her she could tell her mom to add that food to her list. 

On Friday morning, D1 showed up at my room carrying a bag of lettuce.  She said it was from Ma (a beloved counselor).  Ma and 3M left on Friday night for the city of brotherly love so I inherited a nice head of lettuce from her.  Cool.  I figured I'd offer the kids a nice bowl of salad alongside the Spam musubi and beef teriyaki.  There were no takers.  The Help and I ended up eating the salad by ourselves.  I suppose things could have been worse.  The dressing was beast.

As much as possible, I try to avoid buying salad dressing.  The only exceptions are ranch dressing (I buy the bottle) and Italian dressing (I have a thing for Good Season's packet mix).  Too many times, I've been grossed out from reading the dressing ingredient label.  Many dressings contain the Devil's condiment.  Just the thought of it grosses me out.  If a recipe I come across calls for it, I will leave it out.  Ick.  Yes, I am a hater.   I am a mustard hater.  That shit is nasty!

The dressing I made for Ma's lettuce was a creamy Italian dressing.  It didn't have the robust flavor of the Good Season's mix, but it wasn't missed.  A creamy dressing should be creamy and smooth.  This dressing delivers on those points and boasts the right herb flavor.  The instructions call for blending the dressing.  I use an immersion blender for this; it's easier to wash than a traditional blender. 

click on recipe title for link to printable recipe

Creamy Italian Dressing

     1 c mayonnaise
     1/4 c onion, diced
     2 tbsp red wine vinegar
     2 tsp sugar
     3/4 tsp Italian seasoning
     1/4 tsp salt
     1/4 tsp garlic powder
     2 dashes of black pepper

Blend all ingredients until smooth.  Chill at least 2 hours before serving.

Raspberry Buttermilk Cake from Gourmet

In early July, Sticky, Gooey, Creamy, Chewy posted a recipe for Peachy Keen Buttermilk Cake, which she adapted from a recipe in the June 2009 issue of Gourmet magazine.  Her pictures made the cake look so ono, and I was surprised that the only "odd" ingredient in the cake was buttermilk.  I also liked the idea that the cake was rather small (round, single-layer).  The original recipe, Raspberry Buttermilk Cake,  called for raspberries, rather than peaches.  I guess the title gives it away.

When I went to Costco last weekend, the cold room was full of berries.  I had a hard time deciding between blackberries and raspberries but eventually went the sentimental route with raspberries (flashback to Seattle:  my Italian gramma often made raspberry jam).

Aren't these gorgeous?

 I think you can figure out the rest of this post.  Needless to say, this cake is super simple to make, provided you have buttermilk or know how to fake it with milk and vinegar.  The sweetness of the cake complements the tangy fruit.

The fruit will sink beneath the surface of the cake during baking.

The finished cake will be a warm, golden brown with delicate cracks on the surface.

Sticky, Gooey, Creamy, Chewy didn't seem to have a problem with the cake sticking to the bottom of the pan, but I sure did.  Next time, I will use a round of parchment in addition to greasing and flouring the pan.  That should do the trick.